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001 ❂ knekker deg til sist [action/video]

( Waking up not quite sure where he was, or what had happened in the time before he inevitably fell asleep wasn't something unknown to Tony Stark. Back in the days of his youth, more often than not he had woken up with his memories of the night before hazy, and sometimes completely young. But wasn't that just part of being young? You went out, you had fun, sometimes a little too much fun, and so you slowly had to piece together what had happened through word of mouth, pictures in tabloids, and later cellphones showing who you called and texted.

Generally, however, you would have vague memories of the party starting, at least. This time Tony's last memories was of bombs coming towards him. Three helicopters had shown up outside his house. He'd taken down two of them as they bombed the house. He'd put Pepper in the suit, and she'd gotten out, he hoped, and then it had come back to him. He had taken out two of the helicopters, but by the third he had been too late. Everything had happened in slow motion, then. The bomb. The breaking. The slow descent into the ocean, and that was where his last memory before waking up was. Crashing into the water with half his house coming after him. Not exactly the most promising outlook of things.

The soreness in his back, though making him groan was at least a good sign. It meant that he wasn't paralysed, and he reached up to rub his eyes, though not opening them yet. His suit was gone, it was a bit drafty. His assumptions lead him to assume he was in a hospital.)

JARVIS, what the hell happened?

(Pepper should know to have set his phone up, after all. But then there's no response, and so he opens his eyes. And well. This was not what he expected. This wasn't like anything he had seen before. A forest? And what was up with those pants. He got up quickly and spun around, trying to orient himself and see if maybe he crash landed somewhere. But no, not bits of suit anywhere, and when he looked down at himself, there wasn't a scratch on him. Save the soreness in his back. He reached over to feel whatever it was that had injured him, and.

What the hell.

Okay, no, this was a terrible dream. Terrible, terrible dream.

He squeezed his eyes shut again, counting to ten and hoping that maybe when he opened them again he would be back, if not in his own bed, at least a hospital one. But then he opened them again, and nope. Same place.)

God dammit.

(Okay, time to think rationally here. He looked around, to see if there was anyone around, or anything that would indicate just where he was, or where he could go. Which was when he spotted the leather bound journal on the ground. Alright, that probably wasn't there by accident. He picked it up and opened it first, carefully paging through it to see if anything was written, but no. It was weird, though. There were pages to write, but two cameras too, and a voice recorder.

Alright, so he would entertain the notion and sat down again, propping the journal up in front of him, and once he figured out how to get the video recording, well Luceti, have one Tony Stark looking mighty disgruntled.)

I feel like this is a little too elaborate to be a prank, plus, I thought Punk'd stopped making new episodes years ago, so.

Anyone want to go ahead and explain what's going on? My conclusions so far are either that I've become lucid under an induced coma or anaesthetic, or that this is some weird, weird version of limbo that I've somehow ended up with, but it's not at all like I thought it would be. Plus I have these wing...things, and even though I never believed in the whole heaven and hell thing, I certainly didn't think I'd have a shot at heaven

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[There's a voice Steve hasn't heard in awhile. He'd been beginning to think the only way he'd ever see his other teammates again was to be sent back home, either temporarily or, heaven's forbid, permanently. Relief washes over him at first, quickly followed by uncertainty. It's one thing to hope everything is fine for those back home and another thing for it to actually happen. And from the sounds of it, it's almost as if Tony expects himself to be dead. What exactly is happening back in their world.

Later on he might remember the news of Tony's mansion being attacked some months ago and put two and two together. But right now he has a teammate to update on all things weird and Luceti. Since it's clear he doesn't remember anything. Maybe that's for the best.]

Don't play with your wings, Tony. You do not want to spend your first days here walking around with a death penalty. They're not pleasant, you can ask Thor. [Or him. But he rarely ever likes to talk about the events leading up to his first death here.]

Are there any landmarks around you? Can you hear water flowing nearby?

So there's a death penalty here for touching yourself? Not sure this is my kind of place, then.

(Sup, Steve. Have a bright smile. Tony's had a little bit of time to adjust now. He's talked to a few people. A lot of them seem to know who he is. That parts a little confusing and he's still not sure that he's not dead, especially now after Luke Skywalker called him Tony. But you know. If he is dead, he could be a lot worse off.

Plus, Steve seems calm, and in some ways, that seems to calm him to. If it had been bad, of all people, Steve would probably not be one to try to hide it from him.)

I am currently being lead by a priest out of here. Who says that it's not far. Do you want to help me find some clothes once I do get out of here? And maybe get a drink. I could use a drink.

There's a death penalty for dying. Which is what will happen if you mess with your wings. They're there for two reasons, one to make life more complicated, and two to basically be a big, colorful target on your back. [Even after all these years he's still maybe a little irked by this. It's just shoving his wings into his uniform is so uncomfortable.

But aside from this bit of dire news, he manages to smile back. It's really good to see Tony again despite their differences. In a place like this you need all the allies you can get.]

Sounds like a plan. Once you get into the village just ask the priest to point you in the direction of the clothes shop. That's where everyone's clothes usually end up. I'll meet you there.

How does that work? Do they bring you back only to hang you again? (This makes zero sense. But then again, some places the punishment for suicide was death because it was considered murder, so you know. It wasn't like it was too unique. Well. Other than the fact that it was over a pair of wings but in the general sense.) Do they at least have decent tailors so I can get my clothes adjusted to them? (He is definitely frowning, peering over his shoulder and shaking his head.) Do you get shot at a lot?

We shouldn't be too far off, I don't think. So I'll go there, then meet up with you. (He frowns slightly.) You seem to know a lot. How long have you been here, because I just saw you like, a week ago.

Let's just say...death isn't quite as permanent here. People do die, but after a week they revive and have a three month period of death penalty. The penalties vary by person. [He wonders if he should explain Thor's particular situation but decides to keep silent for now. It's not his business and he doesn't think Thor would appreciate him speaking for him. So to speak.]

I'm sure if you ask around you'll find someone willing to help. Otherwise you can do what most of us do and tuck your wings under your shirt. Or cut holes in the back. [Although that probably doesn't achieve Tony's standard of fashion.]

No more or less than I did during the war. [Shot at, stabbed, de-powered, zombiefied...]

Little over two years if we go by Luceti time.

(Yeah, no, that tells him little to nothing, really. Have one very confused looking Tony Stark, Steve. Very, very confused.) You're going to have to give me an example here, Rogers.

Doesn't that make you look like you're the hunchback of Notre Dame? Although, I suppose if everyone has the same predicament...(No, no he'll definitely still be need to get his clothes fashioned for the wings.)

About this place, though, in particular.

...two years? (Staring. A little.) I guess it's safe to say no one'll be looking for me back home then, huh?

Well, people have been know to go mute or blind. Powers can be lost. Healing factors can be taken away...It varies. But like I said, most penalties last roughly three months. [There have been a few exceptions, as there usually are. Very little here is a certainty. And he hasn't even gotten around to the experiments yet.]

Not if you get shirts a size or two bigger. A lot of people just feel safer hiding their point of weakness. But you should be safe enough in the village. [Outside the village is another story.]

No. Time...it works differently here. Which is why I need to ask, what's the last thing you remember?

On the bright side, at least I don't have any powers to lose. But any of that will definitely be on my list to avoid. Dying is bad, probably made worse really by the whole being punished for dying part.

Oh, so they kind of are like a target? Someone mentioned that to me, and well, can't say that sounds very nice. I'll see how it looks, I do have a reputation to maintain, you know. (There's a bit of a smile there that plays at his lips. While he does get that it's not exactly the most light hearted of situations, well, that's probably why he's trying to joke around. It makes it less difficult to swallow.) I'll just stick to the village as much as I can.

Water. (His brow creases slightly as he says that, a shudder running through him.) The ocean. The Mandarin, he almost killed Happy because of me, and so I told him to come pick on someone his own size and might have inadvertently invited him to my house. I didn't expect him to come with three helicopters to bomb it.

They're a target for anyone who can get close enough to pull them off or even damage them. The people we fight, they play dirty, and you don't want to give them any advantages. [It's hard for him to see the humor in Tony's words when he knows exactly how important it is to protect your wings. But Tony will soon learn. He almost feels sorry for that.] That's a good idea, at least until you get on your feet. Do you know if your suit came with you?

[It had been all over the news. A celebrity's mansion doesn't get destroyed without someone covering the story. Especially not a celebrity like Tony. He remembers bits and pieces of the story. Enough to know that Tony won the day. Or he would.] Alright. I'm about six months ahead of you back home. Thor is a couple of months ahead of you but not as far as I am.

If they're that malicious, how is a little bit of cloth going to help? It's not like cotton provides much protection. Maybe if it was kevlar, but somehow I doubt it. (And then he frowns just a bit.) How do you know? I don't think so. Do you have yours?

(There's a pause there, and he swallows.) If I'm dead, did you at least hold a nice eulogy for me?

People tend to dress with care when they leave the village for missions or drafts. A lot of people here also have powers and are better protected than your average person. [It's really just a matter of never showing them your back.] You tend to arrive with whatever clothes or items you had on you before you arrived. I have my shied and uniforms here. [Yes. Uniforms. He has quite the collection going.]

You're not dead, Tony. Although it's not for a lack of trying. [He frowns and looks disapproving. Like a parent scolding his child.] Exactly what were you thinking giving your address to a maniac?

Which puts me at a slight disadvantage even just in town. Well. I'll give it a shot, but I pride myself in how I look, Rogers. I can't compromise that. (Though that lends a frown.) Seeing as I was in the process of being attacked and drowning, I can't say that anything I had on me at the time would be particularly useful. The suit had lost all power, and a couple pieces broke off. How do you have multiple uniforms? Do you wear them in layers?

(Oh, but look at that. The CapGlare gets a wide grin.) First of all, it's not like he couldn't have found it on in the first place. It's on a tour of celebrity houses in Malibu. And well, I was a little angry. I felt he should pick on someone his own size.

You're not likely to be attacked by anyone in town. Unless you give them reason. You're perfectly safe here. [As safe here as any place inhabited by Loki. But it's doubtful he'll cause any serious trouble after all this time.] I arrived with one uniform initially and the others were brought here after my last trip back home.

[The news about his suit is unfortunate but not surprising.] You should be able to come up with the parts for a new suit here. Although you may have to do some missions in order to acquire some of them. [The other Tony had managed that at least so this one should be able to as well.]

If you can even call sending three helicopters against one man picking on someone their own size. You could have been killed!

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001 ❂ knekker deg til sist [action/video]

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